Dilemma:

• A problem offering at least two solutions
• Or two possibilities
• None are practically accepted
• Neither one is comfortable
• Either one will lead to further conclusion

Wish I could have the courage to get out of this dilemma thing that had keep surrounding me for months.

Life is always full of options, choices and decision making. One step wrong, will be in a trap, no where out. While trying hard to figure the way out, will struggle and fall. Keep struggling and falling make me tired and hurt. Sometimes too pain and unbearable.

Wanna break free from all these invisible cage around me. Wanna break free, wanna break free… wanna run real fast and leave everything behind me..

I just locked myself in the toilet at home. The door was spoilt and I cannot open it from inside.

I tried so hard. It was late and everyone was asleep. I try not to wake them and try to be independent to solve my own problem.

But I failed after a few attempts. I gave up and tried to be selfish. I yelled out loud for people to save me. But no one hears me. Everyone was in the house, but no one hears me.

When I thought that I will be stuck in the toilet till next morning they wake up, I think that I am so small and no one will notice me if I die in the toilet, then I started to feel I am not somebody important to anyone.. then I started to squat at the corner and cried..

Maybe I am sick now.. so i behave weirdly..

What I love most about rivers is
You can’t step in the same river twice
The water’s always changing, always flowing
But people, I guess, can’t live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing
What’s around the riverbend
Waiting just around the riverbend

I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Where the gulls fly free
Don’t know what for
What I dream the day might send
Just around the riverbend
For me
Coming for me

I feel it there beyond those trees
Or right behind these waterfalls
Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming
For a handsome sturdy husband
Who builds handsome sturdy walls
And never dreams that something might be coming?
Just around the riverbend
Just around the riverbend

I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Somewhere past the sea
Don’t know what for …
Why do all my dreams extend
Just around the riverbend?
Just around the riverbend …

Should I choose the smoothest curve
Steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Kocoum?
Is all my dreaming at an end?
Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver
Just around the riverbend?

Cybie is going to Cambodia. She will see how’s the river at Cambodia, and then decide which curve she should take, the smooth or the curvy?